Sharing

New York is being really shitty to me right now. I want to rewind back to 2 years ago. I want to start all over. I want my life back. I hate that there is some other girl living my life. I hate that you don't care about me anymore. I used to be your world and you don't give a fuck about me anymore. I know this is what I wanted. I wanted to be alone, but I didn't realize I was going to be this alone. I needed space I needed a break, but I freaked out and said goodbye. I can't help missing you all the time. It kills me that you are over it so completely and I have a huge hole in my heart. I hate being fragile. I hate having to meet new people and compare them to you. I hate that my friends are leaving and I can;t leave. I cant go somewhere and start all over, but sharing New York with you is hard. Why do you have to be in New York, why do other people have to leave new york and I am striving to make connections that seem to be so fragile and fickle. The only solid thing I had was you and you are completely gone now. I am trying to move on, but every little step I take there seems to be a huge obstacle.