I miss feeling like you understood me and wanted me. For some reason I felt pretty and smart when we were together. I never knew quite what I was allowed to talk about or when I was allowed to interrupt you, but maybe I liked it that way. Maybe I like that I think you are too smart for me, which I am finding a rare thing these days. I am not always good at numbers or words, but I can't stand people who aren't aware and most people aren't. I hate people who don't dissect society. I hate people who say mean things out of ignorance.

I had a dream last night that I went to visit you and you were living in a room with four other people who were not happy I was visiting. I asked you why you were there and you said "I am paying six hundred dollars" and I said "You are living in a room with four other people and several more in the next room, that isn't actually a good deal." But you seemed to think it was perfectly acceptable.

I was out last night and hanging out with a group that usually includes you. I hadn't realized the hole until I was there and you weren't. I just miss having your giant brain and skinny limbs around.