So once again Hairspray looms on the horizon, but this time I am a different person. So much happens in a year. People come and go, attitudes change, jobs change, experiences are gained, and the world has a slightly different hue.
I have found recently that the way I perceive myself and the way others perceive me is very different. Being in a long term relationship has opened up all these new windows of awareness. I see myself as the relaxed one, because my girlfriend has anxiety issues and constantly needs reassurance of her worth as a human. Our friends view her as the chill one who always likes to have a good time and I am a controlling bitch. I do like to be in control of things and possibly I do treat her like a child upon occasion because she always needs to be coddled. But for some reason her flaws are untraceable and mine are more apparent. Why is this? I don't see the same person that they see. Who are we really? Are we the way we perceive ourselves, the way others perceive us, or a combination of the two?
I keep wondering when my career is going to start. I seem to continue to get older and yet my career hasn't taken off. It is scary how time is always moving forward even if you aren't.
waiting for my cue.
